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Source: Nobody knows

Photo by Gregory Shamus

----According to a league source, LeBron James tied his shoes this morning.  An undisclosed source revealed that he used the Bunny Ears method rather than the Loop, Swoop and Pull.  Sources say he double knotted them. 


Independent sources disclosed that Dwyane Wade has opted for Velcro straps, based on James’ decision.

An unidentified source has indicated that Chris Bosh has chosen slippers, in an attempt to avoid the sidekick motif.

You laugh.  You chuckle.  You mock this mockery.  Yet this is the level of absurdity that has overcome the National Basketball Association.  This is where the validity of the ‘source’ has reached such a degree of ridiculousness, that in a few minutes ESPN’s Chris Broussard will report that LeBron James has chosen the Bunny Ears method.  And why will he report such nonsensical information?  Because it was sourced. 

“The media has no idea what’s going on,” Miami Heat president Pat Riley stated.

Correct Pat.  We don’t.  But neither do you.  And the fact that I just reported Wade has opted for Velcro has put your entire organization into a frenetic state of desperation. 

But, what does all this mean?  I don’t know?  He doesn’t know.  Nobody knows.

FOX Sports Radio seems to know.  Their sources say that Wade, Bosh and James are going to Miami to form a dream team.

And the Miami Herald seems to know.  Their sources say that Wade will go to Chicago because that’s where his family resides.

And Newsday seems to know.  Their sources say that Wade told the Knicks, “Just get me one player and I’ll get you a ring.”

And the Chicago Tribune seems to know.  Their sources say that Bosh and James are both going to Chicago to team up with Derrick Rose.

And the Cleveland Plain Dealer seems to know.  Their sources say that Bosh and James are both going to end up in Cleveland to appease James.

And the Houston Chronicle seems to know.  Their sources say that Bosh will go to Houston to play alongside Yao Ming.

And the New York Post seems to know.  Their sources say that Andris Biedrins, Monta Ellis, Tony Parker, Amar'e Stoudemire, Carmelo Anthony, Wade and James are going to New York.

So, the aforementioned sources indicate the following babble:

Wade is going to Miami and Chicago and New York. 

James is going to Cleveland and Miami and Chicago and New York.

Bosh is going to Cleveland and Miami and Chicago and Houston.

Carlos Boozer isn’t playing basketball anymore.

Everyone is going to New York.

No one is going to New Jersey.

So what’s the overall perception here?

That the media is confused, as suggested by the laughable amount of conflicting reports?  No, nobody’s confused, but rather desperate for information.  Desperation leads to a lack of ethics.  A lack of ethics is what has led to the current array of inconsistencies.

If all of the conflicting reports are not enough to prove that nothing about free agency is known, how about the fact that ESPN is reporting nothing?  I don’t mean that they are not reporting news, what I mean is that they are literally reporting that there is nothing to report.

ESPN’s bottom line reads:
“LeBron stays mum on free agency decision.”
“LeBron declines comment on his future as he leaves his Nike camp.”
“Dwyane Wade to go silent on free agency.”

It’s sad that the only legit thing to report as of now, is that there is nothing to report.  But at least it’s accurate information.   Albeit, ESPN does not necessarily need to report that they know nothing, but I appreciate the sincerity, I guess.

Hence, nobody knows what’s going on.  Media outlets don’t know.  Organizations don’t know.  Players don’t know.  One individual may know.  And if he knows, then everyone else will know.

He is the one we all proclaim the King.  His Royal Highness, the one with as many rings as Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley combined.  He is the one who shall dictate the future of the entire league.  He is the holy one.  The one we must bow down to whenever he graces us with his presence.

Little problem here.  He doesn’t know either.  He doesn’t know what he’s doing or when he’s doing it.  He’s procrastinating the way a little kid does with a book report.  He was supposed to make a decision by June 3rd, before his Nike camp; then by June 7th, after the camp; now it might not be until the following week.

The entire basketball world is on pause right now.  And the play button can’t be hit until the Prince is done with summer camp.  Nobody will make a move:  Not a player, not an agent, not a general manager, not an owner, until LeBron is done playing with his camp friends.

Since James doesn’t know, who does know?  Nobody.  Nobody knows.

Due to the obvious issue of not knowing what is or what isn’t going to pursue in the next few days, how are new assumptions made every minute?  Why are new assumptions made every minute?

Why do analysts and experts change their minds so incautiously and spasmodically that scenarios are fabricated to such an extent that at one moment an organization is a dynasty and at the next moment they are a lottery team?  How, at every moment of the day is something changing, when nothing has actually changed?

Just ponder that notion.  Make sense of that notion.  That everything is changing, when nothing has actually changed.  It’s as inane as the idea of reporting that there is nothing to report. 

“Serenity now,” as Frank Costanza would say.

Nobody knows anything at this point.  Accordingly, reports will be conflicting and misconstrued and so will their sources.

The eerie misconception of the source always being valid is the underlying issue here.

The source fools you.  It fools me.  It fools everybody.

Regardless of the absurdity of a report, as long as the word ‘source’ is within its proximity, it’s deemed to be valid.  For some odd reason, there is some type of comfort in knowing that the information being presented, came from a source.

But Why?  These sources are never identified.  Never.  So why would you believe something that’s unidentified?  I don’t know, the answer to that question is unidentified.

So, then, who takes the blame here?  Who takes the fault for the demise of journalistic integrity?  We can’t blame the source, for it’s unidentified.  We can’t blame the media outlet who reported it, for they can blame the source.  So who do we blame?

The source?  The media outlet?  Or just the word itself, ‘source?’

Heck with it, let’s blame LeBron.