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By Zak Kertesz

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Saturday
Oct022010

Soft

----Flimsy and floppy.  Squishy and squashy.  Cushy.  Mushy.  Soft.  Not quite the prerequisite of the National Basketball Association, yet, evidently, it looms over the league.  

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Tuesday
Aug312010

Albert Shamesworth

----It is a feeling of remorse.  A natural inclination.  A censor of stupidity.  It is...shame.  And Albert Haynesworth is absent of it.

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Friday
Jul302010

Super Bowl, Schmuper Bowl

----The New York Jets?  Super Bowl XLV?  Huh?  Well, as perplexing as that sentiment may be, such drivel continues to circulate.

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Thursday
Jul222010

Waste of words

----I just ate a sandwich.  Corned beef on rye.  Does anybody care?  No.  Should anybody care?  No.  Brad Childress just took a trip.  Hattiesburg, Mississippi.  Does anybody care?  Yes.  Should anybody care?  No.

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Friday
Jul162010

Feeble minds

----Envy is mischievous.  It can rip out your insides and splatter them upon a canvas.  It’s a relentless demon that resides inside of you.  Its survival is fed by insecurities.  Its freedom, granted by selfishness.  Many obtain it, but only the few, only the weak, prompt for its escape.

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Tuesday
Jul062010

Source: Nobody knows

----According to a league source, LeBron James tied his shoes this morning.  An undisclosed source revealed that he used the Bunny Ears method rather than the Loop, Swoop and Pull.  Sources say he double knotted them. 

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Thursday
Jun252009

What did you watch: NBA or MJ?

----Like music to my ears: With the first pick in the 2009 NBA Draft...Love it. Feel it. The sensation that indicates a new wave of youth and talent and optimism is entering the league.

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Tuesday
Jun162009

Dear ESPN, you’re ruining sports

----Plaxico Burress’ hearing is delayed.  Donte’ Stallworth is sentenced to jail time.  Ryan Leaf (Ryan Leaf?) is eluding the police.  courtTV, right?  Uh-uh.  It’s the present day ESPN.

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Friday
Jun122009

Fisher Admin bails out Kobe Corp

----I felt it.  Dwight Howard felt it (you could see it on his face).  And I assume everyone else in Amway Arena felt it.  Did you?  That overwhelming feeling of emotion conquering your body: all arising from the little 7-year-old girl.

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Monday
Jun082009

Magical comeback?

----The series is over, right?  The 2009 NBA season has untheatrically ended as the Lakers have taken a commanding 2-0 lead, right?

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Saturday
Jun062009

Shaq is the ass taster

----As the old superman looks for his cape, the new one is flying the skies, preparing for game two of the NBA Finals.  Whereas Dwight Howard should be studying film with the “Master of Panic,” Shaquille O’Neal should be rescinding all of his ridiculous comments.

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Thursday
May212009

The King of what?

----In the dictionary, a King is defined as a male monarch whose hereditary position prompts chief authority over a country and people.  In sports, a King is defined as an athlete who is unarguably the best.

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